Don’t body shame yourself

(or anyone else!)

Before I begin, I want to start by saying I do not condone an unhealthy lifestyle. It is important to do all that you can to take care of yourself so there are no other health conditions popping up. However, how healthy you are and how you look do not always go together. Unfortunately, before I realized that, I found that I was body shaming myself and struggling with accepting the changes that have happened since carrying two babies.

I was out for a run the other morning with my Run Club; which at the moment happens to consist of all moms – all have had baby #2 within the last year and a half or less. What I love most about any Run Club is your chance to chat, and as you become more comfortable with the group, the more you are able to talk about anything and everything – no shame. During one of our runs, we were discussing the holidays, more specifically we were discussing all of the treats we had been eating. We hadn’t been doing anything close to our 80/20 balance of clean eating.

I was talking about how Sarath and I were starting our Slim and Trim through AdvoCare on January 4th and that I could NOT wait to start. My body was ready to get back on track because my clothes were fitting but I was no longer comfortable in them. Then we were talking about how our clothes have changed since having children. That we like high waisted pants because even when eating perfectly, there seems to be something extra in our lower abdomen. What is that anyway? I mean will those muscles EVER come back? My girlfriend had a vaginal delivery, I had a c-section…does that make a difference? Even if that does make a difference, we both seem to be struggling with the same post-partum issues 14 months later. I mean I assume those muscles come back at some point. Every year in December the Time Hop app pops up with a picture from 2 years ago showing me working out with my daughter and my stomach muscles were on point! But I have to remind myself that picture was almost two years after my daughter was born. I was only balancing life at home with one kid and it took a LOT of work to get to that point. That’s not to say I’m not working hard now but in all reality it hasn’t been that long.

I have to work harder to always find that balance in life since baby #2 came. Find that balance in clean eating versus eating my stress; balance of workouts versus sleep; balance of sick kids versus any life outside of my house – the balancing act is harder than ever. My workouts help me keep my sanity but it's not always feasible to work out nearly as hard, as long or as often as I once did. Life changed significantly for me after baby #1 arrived, then even more so after baby #2.

Why are Moms so hard on themselves for post-partum bodies? When did this become the norm? Everyone wants to see how fast they can lose the baby weight and get back into pre-baby body. While in the rush to return to what we were before, we forget to take the time to stop and think about why we have a new body. We were pregnant. We grew a human life inside of us. Our bodies gave birth to a little tiny human life. Think about how much has to happen to that embryo from the point of conception until the point of birth. Even if you just remember your basic biology, there is a whole lot that has to happen! Which means your body has to adapt and change. The evidence is in lack of muscle tone that was once there, stretch marks, wider hips, metabolism changes, and so much more. These changes gave us an amazing gift. Maybe we should embrace these changes with a little more love and understanding of what our bodies have gone through.

Even if we throw the scale out the window, change how we are eating and are working out, things never seem to return to the way they once were. So the question is – what do we do about this? Do we say screw it, I don’t care? Some people can take this attitude but most cannot. Do we make ourselves crazy obsessing on not being able to fit back into our previous clothes and seeing the scale not be what it used to be? This is a trap that is easy to fall into but a very unhealthy one. Again I ask “so now what”? Maybe it’s worth not paying attention to the scale because that doesn’t tell the whole story. And I need to realize that no matter how hard I work or how good a shape I am in my body may have permanently changed shapes. So instead of obsessing on the pants that no longer fit, it may be time for me to get rid of them. I never want to stop being healthy. It’s a huge part of my life, and my habits set an example for my children. However, I need to stop holding onto the past and trying to return to my previous body. My previous body hadn’t carried and given birth to two children. It is time for me to embrace who I am now and going forward, focusing on being healthy and fit for me. It is time to stop comparing and body shaming myself, especially when the comparison is between who I used to be, and who I am today.